A Proper Welcome

This one was inspired by an idea posed to me by Lanif-Angelkiss.
Thanks to Akane for beta reading and additional contributions.

If you enjoyed this caption, consider also checking out the rest of the series at its hub!

The image I used is fanart of Minamoto no Raikou from Fate, done by a2ki on Pixiv. However, the original was deleted, so here's a Danbooru mirror.

The sakura petals are actually several stitched together screenshots from Wallpaper Engine, which has a preset for falling sakura petals. I set it so a bunch would fall on a plain black background and took screenshots every so often, which I transferred into Gimp, removed the black background (which also gave them a slightly translucent quality, which I like), and arranged them to look good without covering anything important--which is why they're behind the text instead of in front, as I originally planned.

All persons depicted are fictitious, not owned by me (Fate and its iteration of Minamoto no Raikou are owned by Type-Moon; Super Goddesses, Shizuka Hirose, and Sakimori are owned by Akane), and above the age of 18.

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TRANSCRIPT:
A flash of something shot past your eyes, followed by a voice so feminine you came in your pants a bit.
"Whoops! Sorry about that, sweetie--almost sliced your head clean off!"
It belonged to easily the most beautiful woman you had ever seen before, clad in a tight lavender bodysuit that accentuated her voluptuous body. Your head was still quite clearly where it belonged, but your neck felt uneasy nonetheless. Your other head, however...
"Say, now that I get a good look at you, I can tell you're not from around here. Are you from overseas?"
"Y-yes, that's right. I'm from New Zealand."
"Oh, how wonderful! I've never actually left Japan before, so I haven't met a foreigner before! It's a pleasure to meet you! Oh, I'm sorry for making such a bad first impression, what with nearly lopping your head off and all!"
She giggled.
"Believe me when I say you now live in the safest country on the planet! It's my job to help anyone who needs it, so please, ask me anything!"
You were downright speechless. Her words were barely registering in your head, as you were completely entranced by how insanely beautiful she was. As such, it took you a bit to realize your Japanese wasn't nearly good enough to have a conversation with a local like this, yet both you and she were communicating effortlessly.
"Well, uh... who are you? And why do you have a sword?"
"Oh, I'm a Sakimori, sweetie! A katana is standard issue!"
"I..." you began, dumbfounded. "I see. It just seems strange for someone to be carrying a sword nowadays. If you're a kind of police officer, then wouldn't you have a gun instead?"
"Ah, but this isn't just any old sword! It might look unremarkable, but it's actually raw crystallized power melted into a liquid and forged into the distinctive curved blade of a katana! A weapon so potent in the hands of a thoroughly skilled ultipotent makes it not only one of the most lethal weapons ever made, but it's capable of far more than just cutting and slicing!"
"Like what?" you asked.
She smirked. A single grand swing of her sword produced another flash of iridescent light, causing sakura petals to start gently fluttering down from the sky. A light breeze appeared, causing the sweet smell of cherries to fill the air, practically sending you to heaven itself.
"You know, I heard Shizuka did something similar at her palace after her parade a while back! Nowadays, cherry blossoms are always in season!"
"Sh-Shizuka?" you managed to utter.
"Oh, she's the new empress! Easily the best one we've ever had, and she's only been in power for a few months now!"
"Wow. I had heard about her a bit before moving here, but I didn't realize she was that amazing."
"Oh yeah, she's the best! You know, she's very open and casual about meeting people, in no small part because nothing could ever hope to or even want to harm her~! I'm sure she and the other Sakimori would love to meet you and give you a proper welcome~❤"