Nothing Like the Sun (April Fool's 2021)

Working title: Fuck glowing eyes, all my homies hate glowing eyes

This quasi-shitpost is a collaborative effort between yearends and myself.  He wrote the caption and sent it to me to put it together and give her exaggerated glowing eyes.  It's also my 200th post on Blogspot!

Since I didn't write it, its word count on my hub is listed as zero (though it's actually 561 words).  I can't take credit for something someone else wrote entirely on their own, after all.

The title comes from the first line of Shakespeare's Sonnet 130, wherein the speaker's lover's eyes are described as being "nothing like the sun".  That was yearends' idea--I'm not nearly as well read as he apparently is.  I know a few tiny bits of Shakespeare from Star Trek, but that's it.

The image I used is fanart of Jeanne d'Arc Alter from Fate, done by lerome on Pixiv (first image).

All persons depicted are fictitious, not owned by me (Fate is owned by Type-Moon), and above the age of 18.

---

TRANSCRIPT:
I want to say up front that I love being omnipotent. I know not everyone agrees with that, I've met a few other goddesses in my time who would probably be happier without it, who find it boring and stagnating, but for me, it's still the best and most exciting thing that's ever happened to me.

And really, what I'm going to complain about is going to seem so minor, when you consider that I can literally just rewrite every aspect of reality to suit my every whim, that I really shouldn't be mentioning it at all. Just #goddessproblems, there are starving kids in Universe 24-HF-*$, right? (Well, there were, I've fixed that for good now.)

But it's not like I just left mortal life behind after I ascended, y'know? Sure, I've been around every multiverse and back, seen universes be born, seen them die, lived through their entire existences, but I always go back to visit my friends. They all know I'm all-powerful and they love hanging with me as I just play with everything.

But there's one thing I can't change that I really wish I could, and it's these damn eyes. No matter what I do, I can't stop my eyes from glowing! If I close my eyelids, they just shine right through. Ditto with sunglasses. If I delete my eyes entirely, the sockets glow. Hell, I've tried not having a head and there's still a glow where my eyes would be!

And believe me, there's very little that's more annoying than when you're just trying to have a fun night out with your friends but because your eyes are glowing, everyone runs up to you asking for favours and blessings and whatnot. It'd be fine if they just prayed from a distance--I can tune that out and sort through it later--but getting constantly hassled whenever I step out of my apartment is enough to make me want to just… well, I don't know. I don't want to just ignore all of them since some of them really could use my help but come on, I can see the future and alter the past here, for the love of me it can wait!

The worst of it is that not all of us have this problem. There's some goddesses out there whose eyes just don't glow at all, and others who can turn it off if they want. But I guess whoever or whatever gave me these powers decided to play a cruel joke of its own and make it so that I can't, and so I can't even try to pretend to have a normal life any more--something most of those others just gave up after they ascended (if they weren't just always omnipotent to begin with), and many of them were happy to do it, too!

Is it really too much to ask for an all-powerful goddess like me to be able to enjoy a nice night out with her gal pals every now and then? Nobody coming up to bug me, nobody getting all afraid of me or worshipping me, just me and my friends laughing and joking like the old times--well, like the old times except that I'm also messing with existence while we do it for some extra amusement. Why did it have to be me who got these damn eyes!?