Complete Global Saturation

The idea behind this one originally came from Akane, who in turn drew some loose inspiration from Doraemon, specifically the Look-Alike Pet Food. Thanks to them and my brother (he's more into Hololive than I am) for beta reading and additional contributions. Thanks also to Akane for coming up with the title, which in turn comes from Resident Evil 5. 

I'd like to make clear that, while this is inspired by the Suipiss meme to some extent, the juice described in this caption is not urine. Additionally, I fear this caption may give people the impression I hate Vtubers and think they're exploiting people. That's not the case either--I have no ill will towards Suisei, Hololive, or Vtubers in general.

The image I used is fanart of Hoshimachi Suisei, drawn by mugiusagi on Pixiv (second image).

The font I used is Roboto Medium, since YouTube's UI uses the same font. I had originally envisioned framing the caption as if it was a screenshot from a livestream, but that didn't come to fruition. Roboto is a nice and easy-to-read font, though, so there's that. I initially considered Chicago, the one used for Hololive's logo, but it's kinda too stylized to be very readable for something of this scale.

All persons depicted are fictitious (Hoshimachi Suisei is ultimately a fictional character, but the person behind her is real--please be kind to her), not owned by me, and above the age of 18.

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TRANSCRIPT:
By the way, chat, have you tried my new homemade apple juice? It's extremely popular! Japan can't get enough of it, and it's very quickly growing on people in Asia and beyond.
Hm, sounds like a few of you haven't. You should try it! Really, I insist. Your doorbells should be ringing about now--go answer it. Consider it a gift for being such loyal fans: one crate of my apple juice for you and your families.
... It's good, right? Delicious, even? Irresistible? Well, I'm not really surprised. I did, after all, make it addictive on purpose. I suppose you're too occupied drinking to ask what I mean, so I'll just continue.
You see, some people would call that juice you're all gulping down so desperately a bioweapon. I would just call it my homemade juice. It's derived from a secret blend of various apple cultivars... with the addition of some very specific compounds that work their way up into your brain. These compounds generally just lay dormant in there until I say something innocuous like, "Wouldn't it be nice if you sent me, oh... 100,000 yen?"
... Oh wow, look at all those generous donations! Thank you so much!
You see what's happening here, right? You're all completely under my control now, thanks to the juice you're drinking. And you're best off continuing to drink it for the foreseeable future--you don't want to suffer from withdrawal symptoms, after all!
It's a very simple arrangement: I ask for money, you send it. I tell you to drink more mind-control juice, you happily do it.
So, the ten million yen question: why am I doing this? Well, that would normally be something I can't discuss on-stream, but the time where anyone could possibly stop me is ancient history at this point, so what the hell.
Suffice it to say I've discovered the means of becoming so much more than I am, but doing so requires large amounts of time and money. If I hypnotize the general public into being utterly submissive to me, all too willing to do literally anything I say, I've killed two birds with one stone in perhaps the most efficient way possible! I have more funding than I could ever possibly spend, and everyone lets me do whatever I want!
I admittedly haven't quite developed telepathy yet, but I just know some of you are thinking "You won't get away with this! The police will find out about this and stop you!", like you're action heroes or something.
Let me stop you right there. Again, there's no way anyone can stop me. The first people I gave my juice to were local police officers, who quickly spread it across the country and overseas. The entire National Police Agency, Interpol, and even the National Diet are all under my thumb.
I haven't accomplished my goal yet, but really, I've already won. Aren't you all happy for me? How about another round of donations to celebrate my good fortune?
Oh wow, you guys aren't holding back! Look at all those red super chats--I'm not sure I've ever seen so many at once like this! Thank you all so much! I hope--rather, I know--you'll continue supporting me in the future~!