The Omnipaladin

My first caption depicting an omnipotent male character!  I realize otoko no kos are a somewhat niche fetish, but I had been meaning to do something with Astolfo for a while, and I like how this one turned out.  I have plans for more, in fact... unless this one is so poorly received that I reconsider.

The image I used is fanart of Astolfo from Fate, done by damda on Pixiv.  Moreover, it was apparently uploaded to Pixiv just a couple days ago, July 31 at 7:30 AM (presumably Japan time, though that could be my local time--not sure how Pixiv handles that).  That also happened with that Kanade caption I made a while back, if by some miracle you pay that close attention to my work.  If that applies to you, then please, with all due respect, get a life.

The original picture included a fallen ice cream cone, bag, smartphone, and a small plush of Sieg.  As I was unable to come up with an adequate way of incorporating that arbitrary selection of of items (without making Astolfo into a Japanese student, I suppose), I opted to edit them out (which I totally didn't attempt to veil by adding bloom around Astolfo, no siree bob).

Moreover, I had originally intended to put the text on the left, but formatting it so it didn't waste space, didn't cover up Astolfo, and didn't leave any blank lines at the bottom of the image became too much of a hassle, so I flipped it to how it's presented here.

All persons depicted are fictitious, not owned by me (Fate and its iteration of Astolfo are owned by Type-Moon and Yūichirō Higashide), and above the age of 18.  I make no money through this image.

Thanks to OmniScribbler for proposing the title--everything I came up with was just bad.

---

TRANSCRIPT:

Weren't expecting me to show up here, were you?  Well, the powers that be hadn't exactly planned for my arrival, but if I followed their schedule, then I'd never show up here!  And besides, what makes them think they can tell me what to do in the first place?  They do know how powerful I am, right?
I've seen people like them a million times now.  They think they're so confident in what makes their bodies react... then I come along.  I was coy about it for a while but now it's just getting dull, everyone falling in love with me.  Don't get me wrong, it's always fun to rock some virgin's world every now and again, but the newness of it all has worn off.
Of course, that was before I became omnipotent!  Now, instead of merely rocking a virgin's world, rather, I leave them in a pleasure coma that becomes so intense with time that it eventually just clicks back to zero, bringing them back to normal after a few days of constantly cumming their brains out!  It's so amazing that anyone who experiences it falls for me afterwards, guaranteed!
You know, every time that happens, I feel all that pleasure too--I just have the power to keep myself lucid.  The best part is that it doesn't dissipate with time, ever!  I just keep feeling more and more and more infinities of pleasure forever!
Mmmm... talking about it's getting me in the mood.  Plus you've been staring up my skirt this whole time.  I mean, I realize I appear as a still image accompanied by a transcription of what I'm saying, but you could work on maintaining eye contact!  Just because I look frozen doesn't mean I am!  Your perception of the world around you is nowhere near what it actually is.
Well, enough chastising you.  Wanna fuck?  I see that sparkle in your eyes, no matter how hard you try to look uninterested!