Lap Pillow Talk

The penultimate caption from the poll. If you haven't voted yet, I'm afraid there's little point in doing so now, since only one option is left now. However, if you have any ideas you'd like to voice for the remaining caption, you're welcome to do so.

Also, this is a sequel to my previous (non-April Fool's Day) Bayonetta caption, here. Please make sure you've read that one before this one, so things make sense. If you care about such things, of course.


The title is in reference to the lightsaber sword with a green energy beam for a blade in the first game, Pillow Talk. The lap part should be self-explanatory.

Thanks to CrypticCollaborator and madokaaaaaaaaaaaa for beta reading and additional contributions, and Anon 247 for inspiration.

The image I used is fanart of Bayonetta from same, by superboin on Tumblr. That post no longer exists (most likely because Tumblr doesn't care about its users in the slightest) so here's a Danbooru mirror of the same image.

All persons depicted are fictitious, not owned by me (Bayonetta is owned by PlatinumGames), and way above the age of 18. I make no money through this image.

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TRANSCRIPT:
Hello again, darling. Please, sit down--take a load off. Comfortable? I would certainly hope so--I created this universe specifically for you. I was rewriting some terribly boring universes to make them more interesting when I realized that I really didn't care about goddesshood. I was much more interested in spending time with you. I never got over how I have you to thank for giving me all this. Umbra Witches find seduction is easy. Romance, on the other hand, is much harder.

Oh? Getting an eyeful, are you? You're not very subtle, you know... though, to be fair, I'm not doing much better. Go ahead, I know you want to rest your head on my thighs. You can as long as you want, sweetie.

I almost feel like a mother tending to her child. You're so spoiled.... Oh, who am I kidding? I think I like you like this. I wasn't anticipating ever having kids, but that time I spent with little Cereza and you right now are making me change my mind... but we can talk about kids another time. I brought you here to talk about something more pressing.

I think our time together has changed me. I know I said before that I'm not one for love, but... I think I'm willing to change that. You mean so much to me, to the point that I can't help but worry about when you... pass on. Before, I said that the different realities we exist in prevented me from making you omnipotent, but now that I've become more adept with my absolute power, I... I want to make the attempt, at least.

Only if you want it, of course. I've never been normal. Perhaps there's something delightful about being normal. But... that look in your eyes tells me that being something more than mortal is tantalizing to you. You're such a wonderful person that I... don't want to live without you. So... what do you say?

Thank you, Honey. I think I'll start calling you Honey--rolls off the tongue, don't you think? Well Honey, now that we're on the same page here, the thing to do now is figure out how to give you power like my own. I haven't the slightest clue what will be involved. This enterprise may very well be long, arduous, painful... but with you at my side, I think we can make it happen.